Jesus Fan Fiction Is WAY Cooler Than The Bible

Want to bring people back to the church?  Release more things like this.  It’s a 1200 year old document that claims that Jesus could shapeshift.  That’s why Judas had to kiss Jesus.  Jesus could take any form he wanted.  If you think about it, this actually makes complete sense.  There weren’t wanted posters spread far and wide to catch criminals so identification would have to be done by witness.  There were also likely plenty of people claiming to be Jesus at the time, possibly with Jesus’ permission.  The best way to speak FOR someone is to speak AS someone.

This bit of fan fiction also claims that Jesus ate his last meal with Pilate and Pilate offered to crucify his son in Jesus’ place and that Jesus could turn invisible.  The invisibility along with the shapeshifting makes me almost convinced that Jesus played Dungeons and Dragons.

There are volumes of Jesus fan fiction out there.  Most are locked up in church vaults and will never see the light of day because a bunch of old white men got together in a room and put together a bunch of the many stories together and called it canon and named the stories the Bible and hid the rest from the world.  If they really want to make Jesus cool again, though, they’ll release more of the fan fiction stories.

Wonders In Architecture

You all have seen videos of large buildings being destroyed.  They go boom and collapse in on themselves creating a lot of noise and dust and leaving a pile of debris.  What do you do when there are other buildings directly next to your skyscraper?  Leave it to Japan to come up with an answer.  You take it apart one floor at a time:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_4G_8gEjng&feature=youtube_gdata_player]

When It Comes To Education, Is Equality All That Matters?

If you look at Finland, the answer seems to be yes.  Finland has some of the highest test scores in the world.  There is no one more surprised at this than Finland.  They aren’t worried about tests or grades or measurements or performance.  Their education is based around one principle: equality.

Starting from the top, there is no such thing as a private school.  No one pays tuition.  Your billionaire’s son gets the same education as your pauper’s daughter.  Students are fed and both their physical and mental health is taken care of.  Early education is based more around creative play than tests, lessons, and homework.  Teachers are required to have a masters degree.  They are well paid and well respected.  Principals are expected to root out problems with teachers and fix them.  This combination apparently allows students of all backgrounds to thrive.

Education is the great equalizer.  We owe it to our children to have an equal education regardless of background.  This, unfortunately, is anathema to the American experience so it will likely never happen.

This Is The Worst Day Of My Life

File this very high up on the pile of #firstworldproblems.  Google is retiring Google Reader.  What are they thinking?  My guess is they’re trying to kill RSS. They probably see it as interfering with their ad revenue stream.

Only Adolph Hitler can adequately express my anguish:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A25VgNZDQ08&feature=youtube_gdata_player]

3.14159265359

Happy Pi Day everyone!  It is a day where we all give thanks for all of our favorite circular objects that would not be possible without pi.  I am thankful for elliptical orbits without which our Earth would be thrown into the vast frozen wasteland of the universe.  What are you thankful for?

Here are 10 Youtube videos about pi to get you through your day.

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Me?

Or…It’s getting hot in here so take off all your clothes.

The Earth is getting warmer.  The Earth is getting warmer faster than ever before.  Much faster.  The line of increase has a slope much closer to infinity than it does to zero.  In a rational world, this information would be devastating.  We don’t live in a rational world and we definitely don’t live in a rational country.  Our country is stuck with people who sit on our science committees and think the Earth is 6,000 years old and evolution is “controversial” and climate change is unproven and seem to think that science is a scam like homeopathy.

If we don’t do something soon we are doomed.  And by “we” I mean people living on the coasts mostly.  But there can’t be more than a billion of them so I’m sure it won’t be that big of a deal.  People away from the coasts will just have to deal with alternating torrential rains and droughts and various other weather anomalies.  Again, no big deal.

Voter Fraud: It’s Real And It’s Rampant

Oh, wait, no it’s not.  Hamilton County in Ohio filed charges of voter fraud against three people who voted illegally in this past election.  Three.  Out of 800,000 residents.  Two filled out absentee ballots for recently departed acquaintances (one was actually a nun!) and the third was a poll worker who voted on behalf of relatives.  There are an undisclosed  handful of others that have yet to be charged.

Please note: Exactly zero of these nefarious individuals would have been caught by voter ID laws.  I find it transcendentally funny that the same people who argue for a smaller government are usually the ones that scream for laws to be enacted for a problem that there is no proof actually exists.

Book Review: South Of Broad by Pat Conroy

Ratings for reviews will appear above the fold, while the review itself will appear below the fold to avoid spoilers for anyone that wants to go into it with a blank slate.

Jean-Paul’s rating: 3/5 stars

The South is messed up.  The South is beautiful.  Those two things often go hand in hand in this world.

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Welcome To The Neighborhood, Senator Warren

As you may or may not know, I am keeping a list of fascinating people that I think I would like to have in my neighborhood.  Well, add Elizabeth Warren to that list.  Why?  Because she keeps saying stuff like this:

If you’re caught with an ounce of cocaine, the chances are good you go to jail.  But evidently, if you launder nearly a $1 billion for drug cartels and violate our international sanctions, your company pays a fine and you go home and sleep in your own bed at night…I think that’s fundamentally wrong.

Sadly, Elizabeth Warren is just the second woman in my neighborhood.  This inequality cannot stand.  I plan a massive affirmative action initiative to get to know all the just as qualified women and get them into my neighborhood.  Because that’s the kind of elitist, left wing, hippie liberal I am.

Movie Review: Oz The Great And Powerful

Ratings for reviews will appear above the fold, while the review itself will appear below the fold to avoid spoilers for anyone that wants to go into it with a blank slate.

Jean-Paul’s rating: 3/5 stars

A movie based solely on nostalgia.  And opportunism.  Don’t forget opportunism.

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