Oh Noes, Sequestration!

It’s Sequestration Day in Washington D.C. and it’s much ado about nothing.  $1.2 trillion dollars over 10 years, half cuts to defense and half to discretionary spending.  The big secret is neither party really cares.  Everything you’re reading trying to blame the other side is just posturing.  Both parties want much more discretionary spending cuts and there are enough Republicans that want defense spending cuts to make this a pretty good deal.  So really, if you don’t work in the areas affected by the sequestration, you won’t even know it has happened.

There is some talk of cutting military salary, but I have to assume that’s just an empty threat.  If it is an empty threat, shame on the Obama administration for making it.  There are so many more ways to cut defense spending like the F-35 Joint Suffocation Fighter.  That doesn’t mean that they will, of course.

The big challenge is the looming governmental shutdown that will occur near the end of March if Congress doesn’t bother passing a budget.  If that happens, we’re likely in for another recession.  The biggest roadblock there is Republicans.  Basically, Obama is willing to give Republicans everything they want and is only asking to return tax rates to Clinton era levels.  You know, when the economy was in the crapper.  Oh, wait, no, that’s not right.

Ah, Those Blacks And Their Racial Entitlement

Really crappy decision week continues at the Supreme Court.  This time, it’s the Voting Rights Act.  During oral arguments, Justice Scalia had the gall to say:

Now, I don’t think that’s attributable to the fact that it is so much clearer now that we need this. I think it is attributable, very likely attributable, to a phenomenon that is called perpetuation of racial entitlement. It’s been written about. Whenever a society adopts racial entitlements, it is very difficult to get out of them through the normal political processes.

Yes, that’s what the Voting Rights Act was designed for, racial entitlement.  You know, being allowed to vote and stuff.  Entitlement.  And once they have that entitlement, it’s so hard to take it away from them later.  Then you get black people being president and stuff.

My favorite part is “It’s been written about.”  So have unicorns.  Doesn’t make it real.  Plus, where has it been written about?  Stormfront?

The writing’s on the wall.  The Voting Rights Act is all but dead.  Post-racial America will soon be getting more post-racialer.

No More Eating Babies

The word has come down from on high (or up from down low), atheists will no longer eat babies.  I fully expect many atheists to switch back to Christianity because of this edict.  Baby eating was one of the best parts of being an atheist.  For those of you just joining Mr. Deity, the woman is Satan and  the man she’s talking to is Dave Silverman, president of American Atheists.  The really crappy background noise is supposed to be flames, I think.

[youtube http://youtu.be/9Y2sJCxnEOg]

Commutageddon Downgrade

The National Transportation Service (me) has downgraded the upcoming Wells St. bridge replacement project, dubbed Commutageddon by the media (also me), from a Category 5 event to a Category 2 event.  Purple Line trains will still not be running past Howard for the next week.  During rush periods, some Brown Line trains will travel as far as Merchandise Mart, while others will follow the Red Line after Fullerton and take the Subway to Roosevelt and turn back north from there.  Brown Line trains going the Red Line route will show the red Roosevelt sign in their windows.

A CTA spokesman was reached to help explain the changes.  Here is what he had to say: “So we ffljfwefsvoiregjl and jflsfiwgj;rl to the fsl;jf;gjld Brown Line fsjlkjs;gdj ;slcjmggs sc;ljgmj;f but the total ;jasvl;gmjlgdc hgvem;glcs cnhgkmge;w ;jbjm;rwjvle Thank you.”

There will be fewer Brown Line trains so expect a crowded commute regardless, but it’s good to know that there is a loop alternative for the train during the rush periods.  As always, the place to get real information on the CTA happenings is the CTA Tattler.

Your Paranoid Delusions Are Well Founded

It’s really crappy decision week at the Supreme Court.

First up on the list, FISA.  FISA stands for Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.  It’s the ultra-secret act that our wonderful government uses to spy on Americans suspected of being bad guys.  The Court ruled earlier this week that it is impossible to bring a suit against the Federal Government unless you can prove they are spying on you.

“How are you supposed to prove that a super secret federal program is spying on you”, you ask?  What a great question!  I’m pretty sure the answer is, “you aren’t”.  So with this final hurdle, the Supreme Court has now given the Federal Government carte blanche to spy on its citizens.

The Legislative Branch wiped its ass with the 4th Amendment in 2001, 2007, and 2008 when they passed the bills.  George W. Bush wiped his ass with the 4th Amendment when he signed each bill into law.  Barack Obama wiped his ass with the 4th Amendment when his administration defended the Act in the courts.  And now the Supreme Court has finally wiped its ass with the 4th Amendment and flushed it down the toilet.

God bless America.

There Is A Hole In My Soul

And by soul, I mean sole.  Can you think of a worse day to discover a hole in the bottom of your shoe?  I can’t.  Slushy snow.  Deep puddles.  Unshoveled side walks.  Wet socks.  Luckily, the environmental maintenance in our building is a bit shaky so there are a plethora of space heaters to borrow to dry said wet socks.

Plethora, what an awesome weird word.  Do I say “there are a plethora” or do I say “there is a plethora”?  Neither sounds quite right.

Whenever I Was Sad, My Grandma Would Give Me Karate Chops

This is an absolutely beautiful video about bullying.  The author of the poem is Shane Koyczan.

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/59956490]

The Sunlight Foundation Is Awesome

Presenting Open States!  It’s a website dedicated to aggregating all state level legislative activity in one place.  How cool is that?

It’s always seemed funny to me how more people pay attention to national politics than they do to state politics.  I include myself in that bunch.  Much of it is because national politics gets covered in much greater quantities.  (I was going to say detail, but that is certainly not right.)  State politics just isn’t easy to follow.  This is a perverse reality since your state’s politics is generally much more important to your everyday life than the crap that’s happening in Washington D.C.  Maybe sites like Open States will change that and allow us to keep better tabs on our state legislators.

Don’t Worry, There Is No War Against Women

Republicans like women just fine.  As long as they fit a very specific mold.  First, you have to be attracted to men.  But not too much.  No sleeping around.  Viagra, yes.  Birth control, no.  Second, you have to be attractive to men.  But not too much.  Aim for something sexier than a burqa but not as sexy as yoga pants.  Your sexiness level will be individually judged by every man you meet.  You must please them all.  Third, you really only should get beat up by men who are your significant others.  All that talk about lesbians and transgendered folks really creeps Republicans out so stop being all non-cisgendered.  Fourth, you really should try to be white.  You should especially not be Native American.  Well, no, that’s not quite true.  You can be Native American, but white people can do what they want with you and don’t come running to us when the law doesn’t protect you.

Never say that Republicans aren’t highly principled.  Their principles just happen to be abhorrent and they’re willing to scorch the earth to defend them.  “Only the women that we recognize as real women will be protected from violence or no women will be protected from violence.”  Class acts, all of them.

Real Cardinals Of The Vatican

Am I the only one who thinks that the myriad problems that the Catholic Church faces would be solved by a reality TV show featuring all the Cardinals who are vying for Pope?  Think about it.  There is more intrigue and backstabbing and double dealing at the Vatican than with any group of Real Housewives.  You have a Pope unprecedentedly resigning.  You have banking scandals.  You have a butler who was selling Vatican secrets.  You have a Cardinal resigning for allegedly ringleading a gay group inside the Vatican.  You have coverups galore.

Let’s face it, the Vatican is already exactly like the Real Housewives in every respect including the fake piety.  This is what happens when you get a group of people who live extremely insular lives and stick them together.  Reality no longer has any meaning.  They simply define their own reality at this point.  Anything can be justified because you’re doing it for the church.

Reality television is a misnomer.  It really should be called unreality television.  And there can be no greater unreality than the Vatican.  I think I need to start a petition drive to get this show made.