The Republican Comedy Tour just finished their Egypt gig. Louie “Terror Babies” Gohmert, Steve “Calves the Size of Cantaloupes” King, and Michelle “Pray the Gay Away” Bachmann recently traveled to Egypt to impart their democratically styled principles upon the lucky inhabitants of Egypt. What followed is exactly what you’d expect when the three craziest members of the House get together to talk about something they clearly don’t understand.
With dreams of American coups dancing in their heads, they praised the Egyptian military for following the will of the people and ousting the democratically elected President Morsi. Comparisons were made to George Washington leading the Revolution against England. They also praised the military for the brutal crackdowns on protesters which led to the death of at least one thousand protesters (just like George Washington did. Oh, wait.). They then seemed to suggest the Muslim Brotherhood was behind the 9/11 World Trade Center attack, because, you know, the word Muslim is right in their name and Muslims attacked us ergo the Muslim Brotherhood attacked us.
The only real lesson for the Egyptian people is this: Sure you elected Morsi and he really sucked. People in the United States elected these three screwballs too, some of them multiple times, and we’ve been a democracy for hundreds of years. Luckily for the U.S. their power is pretty limited to saying stupid things in foreign countries. You can be forgiven your Morsi election, just try not to let it happen again. If you ever actually get another election. Here, have some weapons.