Use The Revolving Doors, Dammit!

The world is filled with horrible people.  Rapists, murders, pedophiles, people who don’t use revolving doors.

Yes, I get it, some people have to use the standard doors.  Those people have wheelchairs.  And sure, I will cut some slack to people who have big things of luggage they are rolling around.  The rest of you eschewing the revolving doors?  Pure evil.

Revolving doors aren’t some wacky invention dreamed up by some mad-eyed engineer.  They server a very important utilitarian purpose.  That purpose is to save a shit-ton on energy bills.  Each section of a revolving door only allows a certain amount of cubic meters of air per revolution.  In the summer, only a little cold air escapes the building and only a little warm air gets in.  In the winter, the reverse.  The standard door, on the other hand, is completely variable.  With a decent wind or an air pressure variance between the inside and outside, the amount of heat exchange is exponentially larger.  So not only are you committing a quality of life crime by throwing away money when you use the standard door, you are also causing more gas and electricity to be used which leads to global warming.  You are a horrible person.

Hitler was once heard to say, “Sure, I may have caused the deaths of millions upon millions of people, but not using a revolving door is too evil even for me.”  True story.

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