Every once in a while, I will fall asleep and start dreaming almost immediately. These dreams are inevitably very short nightmares that wake me up with a start. I do not generally remember these nightmares the next morning but I have the vague sense that they are all generally similar in nature. Yesterday’s was anything but. I think I remember it because I was soon thereafter awakened by a phone call which helped cement it into my memory.
The dream featured Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She walks in through the back door of the home I grew up in and announces that she’s pregnant and about to give birth. Despite this claim, she didn’t look at all pregnant. Others were there with us, but I don’t remember who. We do what any sane person would do in that situation and lay her down on top of the stove. Because where else would you want to give birth to the antichrist? Her stomach starts doing that creepy horror movie cliché something moving underneath the skin thing and someone exclaims, “Well, that can’t be good.” I’m just going to go ahead and say that it was Zander because it sounds like a Zander thing to say. Then Buffy’s face changes to that of an old lady who looks incredibly good for her age. This causes all of us to step back from the stove startled. Then, old woman Buffy walks off of the stove without getting up. By this, I mean her feet are on the ground, but her legs are still bent at 90 degrees and the rest of her body is still horizontal. Her walking around like that freaks me out so much that I wake up.
This may explain why my brain was trying to come up with serial killer words of wisdom later on in the night.