Monthly Archives: September 2013

The Law Of Unintended Consequences: Obamacare Edition

Fast food is bad for you.  Very bad for you.  It is mostly high in calorie, high in fat, and low in nutritional content.  Most people “know” that fast food is bad for them, but much of the actual information is completely hidden from the consumer.  Obamacare has changed that.  Chain restaurants of, I believe, 20 stores or more are now required to post calorie information on their menus.  It’s a small step, but it provides consumers with needed information to make a healthy decision.

Or at least it should.  Then psychology comes into play and all rational decision making goes right out the window.  In this case, the psychology comes in the form of advertising.  And it’s kind of brilliant.  McDonald’s is taking lemons and turning it into artery clogging, heart attack inducing lemonade.  Some of their restaurants have a sign for their sausage muffin breakfast meal and they display the calorie count of over 1,000 calories in the biggest typeface and the under $5 price in smaller typeface.  The implication is look at how many calories you can get for this low, low price!  Your average McDonald’s patron does not have the time nor the inclination to do a detailed analysis of what’s good or bad about the meal they are about to purchase.  They know that they need around 2,000 calories a day and look at this, they can get half of those calories for only $5!  What a deal!

All advertising is deceptive.  That’s kind of the point.  It makes you feel you need something that you really don’t need.  This McDonald’s advertising campaign is so deceptive it would make satan blush.  Bravo, McDonald’s, bravo.

Book Review: Dubliners by James Joyce

Jean-Paul’s Rating: 3/5 stars

Forty years into my life and I have finally tackled a James Joyce book.  Sadly, I picked the worst time to do so.  My mind being occupied with disparate thoughts, I found it very hard to concentrate on what I was reading.  The rating reflects my state of mind more than the lack of talent of the author methinks.  That’s too bad because even with my severe lack of concentration I caught moments of brilliance like this: “She respected her husband in the same way as she respected the General Post Office, as something large, secure and fixed; and though she knew the small number of his talents she appreciated his abstract value as a male.”  And this: “She was tempted to see a curious appropriateness in his accident and, but that she did not wish to seem bloody-minded, would have told the gentelmen that Mr. Kernan’s tongue would not suffer by being shortened.”  And this: “Her faith was bounded by her kitchen, but, if she was put to it, she could believe also in the banshee and in the Holy Ghost.”  Brilliant stuff, that.

“Dubliners” is a series of short stories that follow various characters in and around Dublin.  I found this to be quite clever and wondered if Joyce had ruined the titles of many a collection of short stories by being so popular.  That is the only reason I can think of for there not to be a plethora of other similarly titled books: “Chicagoans” and “New Yorkers” and “Parisians” and “Lake Titicacans”.  I’m sure there are notebooks and hard drives full of similarly themed short stories in the filing cabinets and computers of many an English major just longing for a non-Joycian title.

I very distinctly remember really liking some of the short stories but cannot for the life of me remember which they were.  Everything just blended together in my mind like word salad.  Joyce is certainly not the easiest of authors to read and should certainly not be read by an individual who lacks the necessary concentration.  At some point I will have to reread the book and give it the review it deserves, but until then on to lighter fare.

Movie Review: This Is The End

Jean-Paul’s Rating: 3/5 stars

After seeing an absolutely hilarious rated R preview of “This is the End”, I couldn’t wait to see it.  Sadly, time and schedules got in the way and its time came and went.  Then, shockingly enough, there is “This is the End” showing in theaters once again.  I’m not entirely sure how that happened (pushing for an Oscar, I’m sure), but I was sure going to take advantage of it.

How disappointing.  I likely would have liked the movie more if I didn’t have such high expectations going in.  It was still pretty funny, but I kind of wish that I had just watched the preview again.

The concept is solid.  Everyone plays themselves and the rapture happens while they are all at James Franco’s house party.  Nobody at Franco’s party gets raptured and most of them soon die horribly leaving James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Jay Baruchel, and Danny McBride to fend for themselves in Franco’s house.  Much of the movie is spent trying to figure out what happened and then, after coming to terms with it, trying to figure out how to get into heaven.  Chaos and some hilarity ensues.

I don’t know if you would call something a cameo when everyone is playing themselves, but there were many good cameos in the movies.  These include Michael Cera as a coked out sex fiend, Emma Watson as the butt of an actually funny rape joke, and Channing Tatum as, well, you’ll see.

I was surprised at how much effort was put into the special effects.  It’s not quite what you’d expect from a comedy, but the demons and monsters are quite well done.  There are a few effects that come off as a bit cheesy, but other than that they are quite effective.

I think the biggest problem with the film was the middle portion where it kind of dragged and I got a bit bored.  The beginning was excellent, though, and it picked up again near then end.  So I’m going to say that this could have been a better than average showing if it had some of the fat trimmed.

This movie also features what has to be the biggest dong ever shown in a movie.  No, not that one.  Wait for it.  Wait for it.  Yeah, that one.  I also found myself wondering what happened to Emma Watson at the end.  Not that the dong and Emma Watson had anything to do with each other in the movie.  It was just a stream of consciousness thing.  I’ll shut up now.

Movie Review: Percy Jackson And The Sea Of Monsters

Jean-Paul’s Rating: 3/5 stars

I went to see this movie because my brother really wanted to see it.  He greatly enjoyed the first Percy Jackson movie, “Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief”,  and was looking forward to the second.  He gave me the DVD of the first movie to watch before going to see this movie.  It was enjoyable as was this one.  It is not necessary to see the first movie before seeing this movie, but having a familiarity with the main characters does help some.

Imagine if Greek Mythology were real.  The gods are real and they sometimes descend from Olympus to play on the mortal plain.  And by play, I mean make with the sexy time with mortals and produce offspring.  Percy Jackson is such an offspring, a demigod, the child of Poseidon and a mortal mother.

After coming off of the high of a successful quest to save the world from Zeus’ wrath, Percy has settled down to a life of mediocrity in his demigod training camp.  He’s definitely one of the better demigods, but he never seems to be able to win at any of the demigod games.  He worries that he may be a one hit wonder and will never be able to complete a quest again.

All that changes when the tree that provides the magical barrier for the camp is poisoned and a mechanical bull runs amok in the camp.  Without the barrier, the demigods are defenseless.  The tree must be healed and the only thing that can cure her is the Golden Fleece.  This calls for a quest!  Percy Jackson to the rescue!  Oh, wait, no, they pick someone else to go.  Percy and his friends, of course, go anyway.

The action in the movie follows a very basic formula: travel to a location, discover a mythological wonder, do something with that wonder, repeat as necessary.  It’s basic, but it’s enough.  Well, it’s enough if you like Greek Mythology like I do.  It’s doubly pleasurable because they actually seem to care about the mythology, at least to the extent I remember from my college Greek Mythology class.  This makes the Percy Jackson books and movies a great introduction to mythology for children.  I saw a girl on the train reading a Greek Mythology book and immediately wondered if we had Percy Jackson to thank for it.

I certainly have my quibbles with the movie.  Like how the whole thing with poisoning the tree ends up being a completely useless action with the sole purpose of creating a reason for the quest.  But you know, it’s a kid’s movie.  These things can be forgiven.  I think kids would find the movie very enjoyable and there’s enough to entertain mythology loving adults too.

That Moment You Realize You Are A Talentless Hack

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Well, at least compared to Tim Blais.  You need to watch this video.  It’s an a capella explanation of string theory set to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody.

[youtube http://youtu.be/2rjbtsX7twc]

I mean WOW!  I cannot even begin to imagine how much time, effort, and creativity went into making this.  Too bad people like him are wasting their time trying to figure out the fundamental reality of the universe and not ruling the planet.

Back when I was in college taking quantum physics I remember having a barely tenable grasp of what was being taught to me.  Much of the math beyond collapsible wave functions was lost on me.  Never once did the professor bother to mention that even the people that did this stuff for a living didn’t get it either.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized this to be true.  Quantum physics makes no sense but it exists.  It is experimentally provable but we don’t really know why it is.  I like that Tim actually admits this at the end of the video.  Science is awesome.

Tennis Anyone?

I started playing tennis again recently.  I didn’t really start playing tennis until around 10 years ago when I lived in the burbs.  Then I moved into the city and took lessons for a while, but the classes I knew about were pretty easy and I didn’t have anyone near my level to play so I stopped going.  Then a friend mentioned that she was taking lessons and I was all like “I should do that too!”  So I did.

We joined a level three class which went only for a month and the first two classes were embarrassing at how much I had forgotten, but I quickly got back into the groove after that and settled in nicely.  But then, due to the weird vagaries of the park district, there was a month off before the next class started and the next class was two months long.  Despite the fact that I signed up only a day after registration started, the level three class was full so I figured I would just try the level four class.

The level four class is kicking my ass.  Two weeks in and I’ve gotten a blister on my thumb in different places both weeks.  I cannot remember the last time I’ve had a blister on my hand and now I have one two weeks in a row.  Revenge of the programmers hands, I guess.  This is mostly because I am easily the weakest of the players in the class.  My only saving grace is that I have really good reflexes and anticipation.  The class itself is very good for me because I am actually being challenged.  It’s not just an hour lesson, it’s an hour workout.  By the time I’ve stopped playing because I tore open my blister, I am gasping for breath.

The level three class that I would have joined runs at the same time as ours and I look over there every once in a while and it really is amazing at how much of a difference there is between the two levels.  There are a few level three people that are about my skill level, but most are much worse.  It’s like level three is filled with people who want to waste an hour playing tennis and level four is filled with people that want to play tennis.

All that to say, if you know me and you’re decent at tennis, we should play sometime.

Self-Serving Russia Bests Self-Serving America

The events surrounding Syria over the past few weeks have been absolutely fascinating.  Someone, likely someone within Assad government, uses chemical weapons against the rebels killing hundreds of people, many non-combatants.  America does its saber-rattling threatening Assad with some sort of maybe-useful-but-limited-and-that-is-all-we-swear retaliation for the use of chemical weapons (which, by the way, Syria has never signed on the the general ban on the use of chemical weapons).  The American public wants no part in it.  Republicans both complain that Obama should have attacked Assad much sooner and shouldn’t attack Assad at all and either way it proves that Obama is weak.  Democrats mostly stay quiet.  Then Secretary of State John Kerry, in what has been described as an off-the-cuff remark, kind of snarkily mentions that all Assad has to do is turn over his chemical weapons and no bombings will happen, like that is ever going to happen.  This is quickly walked back by the State Department but not before Russia jumps all over it.  Now we have Russia brokering talks between Assad and the United States trying to come to a peaceful resolution.  Assad seems amenable to the idea and has even said that Syria will sign the Chemical Weapons Convention if the U.S. promises not to attack.

I don’t think anyone could have predicted this chain of events occurring.  Of course, getting this far is one thing, going any farther is another.  It would be a true diplomatic coup for both Russia and the United States if all of Syria’s chemical weapons are turned over.  Everyone gets to pretend to be strong and then save face.  Winners all around.  Well, except for the Syrian people, they’re screwed either way.  And with over 100,000 already dead, it’s a stark reminder that the world stage is populated by megalomaniacs more concerned with how they look than what damage they cause the people unseen, unheard, unknown.

File This Under Sucks To Be You

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Imagine you are a medical photographer at the University of Birmingham Medical School.  You go about your business day after day documenting patients and their medical conditions and head back to your darkroom to develop your prints.  It’s 1978, you’re young, all is right in the world.  Suddenly, you fall ill and develop a rash on your body.  No big deal, you think, everybody falls ill occasionally.  Only you get worse and are admitted to the hospital.  There, the doctors tell you, “You know that, perhaps, greatest achievement of the 20th century where we totally kicked smallpox’s ass and now it doesn’t exist anymore?  Yeah, well, it turns out it still does.  In you.  Surprise!”  Poor Janet Parker.

On September 11th, 1978, Janet Parker became the very last person on Earth to die of smallpox.  She didn’t work with it, but the hospital did and her darkroom just happened to be just above the laboratory where they were working with it.  It turns out that their containment procedures at the school were a little lax.  A few others close to Janet also contracted smallpox from her, but none of them died.  The sad part is that, thirteen years earlier, this exact same thing happened to another medical photographer that worked in the same darkroom!  That also resulted in a tiny outbreak, but no one died.

Oddly enough, the one thing that struck me the most about this is the name Janet Parker.  This was a woman!  There was a female medical photographer in 1978.  That has to be a bit of a rarity for back then, I would think.  Or maybe they were kind of the same thing as nurses back then.

Book Review: The Last Colony by John Scalzi

Jean-Paul’s Rating: 4/5 Stars

“The Last Colony” is another excellent book in an excellent trilogy.  The others being “Old Man’s War” and “The Ghost Brigades”.  This book is the least hard science fictiony of the three.  There are still cool new technological gadgets and such, but the book mostly draws on the science from the previous books for the most part.  It is missed because John Scalzi describes cool science gadgets really well, but it also gives Scalzi ample room to shine in his other writing talent, sarcasm and biting rejoinders.  This first half of the book is packed with them.  I found myself chuckling more than a few times and smiling throughout.

This book also delves into the internal politics of the Colonial Union much more than the other two.  Much of the plot surrounds the way the Colonial Union manages its colonies and uses them as pawns in a six dimensional chess game against the other colonizing races.  With each book, it becomes harder and harder to excuse the actions of the Colonial Union and this book actually had me rooting for the Conclave.

Like the other two books in this series, I thought the first half was quite strong, but the second half was missing something.  I think my issue is that, with each book, John Scalzi creates this complex series of events and then the solutions just seem to work themselves out in a simplistic way.  Unlike the other two books, I found the ending to this book quite satisfying, if a little far fetched.

And the “Old Man’s War” trilogy comes to an end.  There are other books set in the universe, but these three apparently stand alone.  Though I will read the other books, I will sorely miss John Perry and Jane Sagan.  I wish John Scalzi had spent more ink talking about their relationship.  It is an interesting and complicated one.  There are hints of love and hints of problems.  Neither are well explored.  None of this takes away from the story, but it’s one of those road not traveled things.  I wonder how much John Perry/Jane Sagan romance fan fiction is out there.  Not enough to actually look, but just wonder.