You are a loser!

Have you ever used those lottery scanners to see if you can finally retire?  Sure, we all have!  When you do, it gives you the innocuous message, “Sorry, you are not a winner.” and you know that you will have to show up for your despairingly boring job for at least another few days.

Playing the lottery is a colossally stupid way to spend your money.  As my friend says, it’s a idiot tax.  This, of course, doesn’t stop me from playing every once in a while when the jackpots are large enough for my entire family to retire.  But it certainly isn’t something that we should be encouraging people to do.

Therefore, I suggest that we change the lottery scanners to throw up random discouraging slogans.  Things like, “You are a loser!” or “Man, I’d hate to be you!” or “Who has two thumbs and just wasted their money?  Point to yourself!”

Society offers way too many carrots to people to waste their money.  It’s time to start providing some sticks.

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